Can Koala Bare A Sub?
by Fictionnaire
Summary: Some idiot smuggled a Koala onto a submarine" Gibbs, Tony and McGee have an easy but strange case of someone smuggling a Koala onto a submarine. Could this be what Tony needs to get his mind back on track?


_**Can a Koala Bare Subs?**_

**_Summary: Ziva is dead… A very strange case popped up. Everything's strange when you have Aussies involved. Could this be the case that brings Tony out of his rut? What happens when a Koala appears on a high tech naval sub?_**

"Grab your gear… Gear up. Dead Marine, missing kid, dead petty officer… Dead Petty officer," were the only things that Gibbs seemed to be saying. Tony had listened to McGee's talking, Abby's rants and Ducky's whatchacallits. But he could always make out what Gibbs was saying. Everything else was just rambling and he knew that he was stuck in the worst rut of his life. Tony watched Gibbs walk through the bullpen again and with purposeful steps. There was a case. "Some idiot smuggled a Koala on a submarine," Gibbs said.

McGee and Tony grabbed their bags and followed their lead agent into the elevator. Then Gibbs' words suddenly dawned on Tony's ears. "Wait… Someone smuggled a Koala onto a submarine?" Tony had begun to doubt that he could have heard that correctly.

"Yes," Gibbs answered.

"That reminds me… An Australian boards this submarine and he's carrying this koala as if nothing is amiss," Tony began telling the joke. "His commanding officer saw it and shook his head and said. _Koala Bears, subs don't mix._ To which the Aussie replies… _I don't have a clue… Never taken him to Subway._" There was a collective groan and McGee shook his head. "Hey don't look at me… I didn't make it up," Tony defended himself.

"Where did you hear it from, Tony?" McGee asked.

"Fox News' worst joke of the day," Tony responded without any hint of humor. McGee sighed in disbelief and a 'that explains it' way. Gibbs chose not to react in any way whatsoever.

_**DOCKED SUBMARINE**_

Gibbs, Tony and McGee watched as one of the naval personnel carefully carried the koala to the waiting Animal Control Van. It seemed that the animal was going to go peacefully. That was one less thing to worry about it.

"Hey… Are you the guys from NCIS?" Harold asked.

Gibbs was the one who flashed his ID. "What happened?" He asked as the three of them were lead into the submarine.

"We were just on shore leave four days ago… Was heading out to our rendezvous we came back from a meal and that's when we saw it," Harold explained the circumstances. "There it was just clinging to the periscope, munching on some leaves. We came back to shore and then we called you guys," Harold explained.

"Any suspects?" Gibbs asked. He wanted to get straight to the point. A case of this magnitude was a waste of their time.

"Yes… There's that one guy. You saw him carrying the Koala," Harold talked as they walked towards the officer's quarters. "Transferred to the Lousianna from the Port of Fremantle," Harold explained.

"Fremantle?" McGee searched through his memory. He had never heard of that before.

"Australia," Gibbs turned around.

"Koalas are from Australia to," Tony interjected.

"That's why he's our prime suspect. He's been advised to enter this room. Here he comes now," Harold pointed the brown-haired young man who walked past them and sat down at the end of the table.

"I'm going to talk to some of the others. I'm sure you got more than one suspect," Gibbs said to Harold.

"Well… There's the usual pranksters, troublemakers and people that are easily roped in by the wrong crowd. Out of all the crew, staff and officers on The Lousianna Sub… I'd say that 95 percent are suspects in this," Harold said.

"Right… What is your name?" Tony and McGee sat down in front of the Australian.

"Bruce… Bruce Hogan," he sat back in the chair.

"So… You're Australian… And familiar with Koala Bears," Tony said accusingly.

"So I'm Australian and therefore guilty of smuggling an Australian animal onto an American sub. You know… An Aussie walks onto a submarine with a Koala and the officer says. 'Hey… Koala Bears, subs don't mix' and the Aussie says. 'I don't know… Never taken him to Subway, Mate," Bruce said with a smile.

McGee's lips quivered as he tried not to smile at the joke. In the attempt to remain quiet, a snort escaped his nose. Tony shot him a look of anger. "Hey, I told that joke earlier and you didn't think it was funny," Tony said.

"He made it sound funny," McGee defended him self.

"Right," Tony said. "So are you telling me, that you had nothing to do with the Koala coming on board?" Tony asked. "I saw you OUT THERE! You look like you know how to handle that Australian animal," he reasoned as to why he was their main suspect.

"We have Koalas roaming all around Australia. You can just pick them up and cuddle them tightly everyday," Bruce laughed when he saw the raised eyebrows of the two NCIS agents. "I visit Australia zoos regularly and I was taught how to hold a Koala and keep them feeling safe and docile," Bruce told the truth. "So why would I smuggle a Koala? Look if you want to find out these things… Now I can't rat on my mates… But listen to this," Bruce told them.

"I'm listening," Tony responded.

"I've been around the world a couple of times or maybe more. I've seen the sights, I've had delights on every foreign shore. But when my mates all ask me the place I adore, I tell them right away," Bruce sung to them. "Gimme a home among the gumtrees with lots of plum trees, a sheep or two, a kangaroo, a clothesline out the back, verandah out the front and an old rocking chair," Bruce clapped his hands together once he'd finished.

"Kangaroos and sheep?" McGee asked, there didn't seem to be any clues in the silly limericks that Bruce had sung.

Bruce rolled his eyes and sighed. "Gumtrees! You know Koalas love Gum leaves right? They live on the stuff," Bruce told them.

"And gum leaves are…," McGee said.

Bruce sighed again and let out a whistle and hummed an old familiar tune for awhile. "Skippy… Skippy… Skippy, the bush kangaroo. Skippy… Skippy… Skippy, our friend to the true," Bruce smiled.

"Ah, Skippy," Tony said as he thought for a moment and then it clicked. "All we have to find is someone's bag full of gum leaves," Tony said as he left the room with McGee quickly in tow. There they met up with Gibbs.

_**NCIS**_

Tony thought about the Koala/submarine case again even after a couple more cases were solved. The man had no choice but to confess to his crime once they found a bag full of gum leaves. It didn't really matter why the man decided to do something so outrageously stupid. He then thought of Australia… Originally, Australia was home to Europe's most unwanted. Filled with criminals, their captors and natives. But Australia broke away from the stench of criminal history and grew into a nation that was their own. Maybe it was time that he followed that lead.

Tony watched Gibbs talk on the phone. He still had that cloudy feeling. But there was something else. Could he finally pull his head out of his ass long enough to fix the crap that surrounded them.

"A dead marine on the Quantico Training Facility roof… Gear up," Gibbs had no problem with going from one case to the next.

Tony thought for a moment. His first instinct was to throw that bag over his shoulder and blindly follow Gibbs like a loyal St Bernard. But the word came so easy. "No," he said defiantly. "No," he repeated again.

Tony watched Gibbs approach his desk. He thought this was it. It wasn't grab your gear. It would be pack your gear. Gibbs would do a Donald Trump impersonation by saying 'you're fired'. Nobody disobeyed Gibbs. "No?" Gibbs sounded shocked when he heard his Senior Field Agent say no to him. He thought that maybe the kid had cracked.

"No… Saleem has to be stopped before one more person dies," Tony stood still.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Gibbs' lips before fading. The kid wasn't cracking. Tony was after vengeance and Gibbs knew what that felt like. For about a month, Tony had turned into a yes man. Broken, flat and detached. Now… He had snapped out of it. "Make your case," he said proudly.


End file.
